Poems and Ponderings
Poems and Ponderings
This section will change, shrink, grow, mutate, etc. based on whimsy of the author. Click here for the prose page.
All writings on this page are copyright 1996/1997 by CARussell. Reproduction is prohibited without express permission of the author.
Dark eyes flashing
beneath a tangle of ebon curls
Red lips pursing,
inviting
Dark skin glowing
A swirl of silks
The sound of bells Bare feet tapping
to the frenzied rythm of the drums --
a wild, native beat that throbs
like a trapped beast's heartbeat.
Dancing, swirling, twirling, whirling
The air is filled with mystique
and colored veils The drums silence
the gypsy disappears
A lone perfumed veil flutters down
to land at the watcher's feet.
CARussell, 1989, 1994
A bell jingles once, twice, thrice Ebon hair trailing down her back she appears Swirls of silk scarves multihued mystery Full flowing skirt covers down to her Bare, belled feet that touch the sand tasting, testing A nod, and the drummer starts rapid, stacatto Her feet move in intricate patterns hypnotizing, mesmerizing Skirt, scarves, hair, bells combining, blurring
CARussell 1991
About the Gypsy artwork: Varian, a very talented and treasured friend, saw my Gypsy I poem one night. He found a gypsy image he liked, and did some major work on it. I found this "Tiny Dancer" in my mailbox the next morning.
Silence covers the land like an oppresive cloak. Not a single sound is heard, not a creature moves. Not even a stray gust of wind disturbs the land. For a heartbeat only does the silence last, then scores of screaming metal birds come down out of the sky, heading unerringly for their goals. Explosions rock and ravage the land. Burning heat turns to slag even the strongest of rocks. Cries by the million are cut off in mid-scream. Hot, raging tornados race across the earth -- screaming, burning, rending, whirling -- tearing up all that lies in their path. The entire sky is blocked from view by falling debris. Time passes, the debris settles. Silence covers the land like an oppresive cloak. Not a single sound is heard, not a creature moves. Slowly, the mournful cry of the wind is heard: the ululating cry of the damned as it roams through the empty, ravaged land -- 'though none now are left to hear its lament.
CRussell, 1987(?)
One crystalline teardrop a translucent globule of emotion falls to the tabletop -- bursts and scatters to lie there like an inkblot. Intently she stares at it as if to read within it the reason for its existence. Failing to read its meaning, she smoothes it away with her hand only to find it replaced by another that shatters on the table like so many of yesterday's dreams.
CARussell, 1988(?)
A sight.
A sound.
A turn of phrase.
A stray thought that goes streaking through your mind,
tantalizing your synapses.
Quick! Follow it!
Grab it by it's ethereal coattails and run with it.
See what realm it leads you to today.
Will it be magical or mundane?
Filled with happiness or sorrow?
Does it matter?
No.
For, when the trip is over and your Muse has finished leading you on a merry chase, you are left with
a poem
CARussell, 12/26/96
The items in this section are ones that made me think of song lyrics. However, since I have little musical skill, the songs are only in my mind.
In the silence of the night I dream of you Through the darkness and the light I wait for you I said the next move was up to you But now I'm hurting and I don't know what to do Love for you has got me turned around Then it throws me hard upon the ground You don't need me You don't want me Why has love come to taunt me? In the stillness off the night I still burn for you Though I try with all my might I still yearn for you In the darkness of the night I ache for you ... my heart breaks for you
CARussell, 11/16/96
Sirens screaming in the night -- it must have been another fight (or so the neighbors say). Yet another D.O.A. Shattered hopes, shattered dreams, all the neighbors heard the screams (but what it was, they couldn't say). Yet another D.O.A. Susie'd been hurt often enough. Johnny was said to be real rough (yet another bruise today). Yet another D.O.A. Johnny took out his deadly knife and ended Suzie's lonely life (the neighbors saw her wheeled away). Yet another D.O.A. Janie saw her mother die all the neighbors heard her cry (but what she cried, they couldn't say) Yet another D.O.A. She ran right out their front door as Johnny let out a piteous roar (where she went, no one can say) Yet another D.O.A.
CARussell, 4/23/89, 6/27/91
He comes in late once again the smell of booze on his breath She tries not to notice, she tries not to care, but inside she's screaming "It just isn't fair!" oh no, it just isn't fair but he doesn't seem to care he goes out and parties for all of the night while she's left at home, alone with the night it just isn't fair He slaps her and beats her again and blames her for all of his wrongs she wants to fight back, but she just doesn't dare and inside she's screaming "It just isn't fair!" oh no, it just isn't fair but he doesn't seem to care he's out of work, he's out of love and ready for a fight she's left again with bruises in the night it just isn't fair She packs up to leave him again but can't seem to make the last move she's wants to be strong, she tries not to care but inside she loves him, "It just isn't fair!" oh no, it just isn't fair she's the only one who cares she wants to be loved, she wants to make it right but she's crying again, alone in the night it just isn't fair oh no, it just isn't fair....
She sits at the table crying out her eyes. She's sick and tired of hurting she's fed up with the lies. She's scraped for every penny, she's scrounged for every dime. He takes it all and asks for more ... it's like an endless mime. She stands at the corner bruises on her face. With love she is the loser, she never wins the race. She's tried every trick she knows, she's tried ev'ry single line. They take it all and ask for more ... It's like an endless mime.
CARussell 4/7/89
Child of Nature
Child of nature in a land of strife Child of nature filled with life Raise your voice to a brand new day Grandfather Sun light your way Taste the wind, feel the breeze With Grandmother Moon take your ease The Arch of Sky, gentle and blue Joins up with Earth to watch over you Child of nature in a land of strife Child of nature filled with life The power of Thunder in your voice With rippling Water may you rejoice The steadiness of Rocks give you your ground Whispering Four Winds fill you with sound. Medicine Bear and mighty Hawk Beside Eagle and Otter may you safely walk. Child of nature in a land of strife Child of nature filled with life
CARussell 1995, with deference and appreciation to the Osage Amerind belief system
(White wolf image by Brigath)
A few of the ones that could be in this section are in the Lyrical section directly above instead.
I dressed up today, just for you I made plans today, just for you I stayed up late tonight, just for you I shed lonely tears tonight ... just for you
CARussell, 9/16/96
I sit in front of the keyboard -- an efficient automaton in a windowless room. My hair tied back, my id badge visible, I talk of ROM, RAM, and CPU's as my fingers fly through the silicon network, and they all stare in envy at the woman who can speak to computers as easily as if she was speaking to humans. They don't realize that my soul is not here. While my mind is navigating through electronic frontiers my spirit is off questing for barefoot solitude -- searching for sunshine, nature, freedom . . . and you.
CRussell, 1989
(Inspired by a very creative friend "Sandy", but dedicated to my blind/visually-impaired friends)
Sightless eyes, but all-seeing soul Navigating the textured darkness Filled with fear, but bolstered by a proud courage Assailed by sounds, smells and touches that must replace the sight you lost Each sensation a new challenge to identify, catalog and respond to Your heart perceives deeply -- more deeply than those with eyes to see What does your mind see when you hear my voice?
CARussell, 1995
(trite, silly, but my first poem I wrote and kept a copy of ...)
Although we may go our separate ways, we're there with friendship on gloomy days. We sometimes seem to read each other's mind, and we say our friendship is the lasting kind. Many may say I'm "off the wall" as I wander down the hall. But you always seem to understand for you're always there to lend a hand. What I'm saying in the end, is thanks so much for being my friend.
CARussell, 1983
(On the same vein, here's the second poem I ever wrote & kept a copy of ...)
Life is like sticks drifting in a stream. As we float along, fast or slow, New friendships are formed while others Are (forever) broken apart. We may drift along for what seems like eons - Always in the same group, Until some hidden eddy of fate snatches us up - Throwing us together with others Sometimes with such cataclysmic force That our lives are interlocked forever afterwards. Some people are like twigs, Caught in an ever-rushing current: Always striving to be the best, The fastest, the most important. When they finally hit a calm spot, They realize that they are all alone. In their hurry, they left everyone else behind. Now, they have nobody to share life's many joys with. Others drift along, happy and carefree, Taking each day as it comes - Ready to enjoy the beauty of each and every day. These are the people who will, without question, Accept each person at face value - Never looking for hidden motives. They realize that we each have our faults, But that they are outweighed by our good points. Friendship based on this trusting acceptance And understanding Will survive forever, No matter what changes of fate may occur. Though we may separate and drift, We will always be linked by that special, Unquestioning brand of ... friendship.
CARussell, 1984
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